I was taught a key lesson by my cat when dealing with behaviour issues that I will share with you. 

We have 4 cats in our home.  First there is Topaz, my Bengal who is now 10 years old.  I also have Abby who is 5 years old and the two of them get along fine.  My youngest daughter moved away from the farm and got 2 cats of her own, Jude and Sadie who are now about 2 years old each.  When my daughter moved back home with her cats, Topaz decided she was not going to have anything to do with Jude and Sadie in ‘her’ home.  Topaz would chase them around the house and fight. 

We have had to separate the cats into two parts of the home, 2 on the main floor and 2 on the upper level and luckily there are doors to separate them, which we keep closed, but the doors do have glass so the cats can still see each other.

Topaz, the alpha cat, started to ‘spray’ right at the door where she sees the other cats.  This is obviously cat marking behaviour but not acceptable in my home.   

My first instinct when I hear the cats calling at each other, is to yell at them to break it up, sometimes chasing her away from the door.  The incidents were getting worse and my attempts at talking to her, asking her to stop were falling on deaf ears.  Her instinct was just too strong, I thought.  Anger was mounting in the house and my husband was even suggesting we should find her a new home.  This was not an acceptable solution to me. 

I decided to talk with her again from a difference place in my heart.    I sat with her and tuned in,  I opened my heart, and really asked her what was going on.  She proceeded to tell me she missed the run of the house, she missed our old dog that passed away, she missed sitting on the couch with us and she wanted to be loved and live in peace too.  I asked her “how can we stop this behaviour” and what I received back was “with Love, you can’t stop anger with anger it just doesn’t work”. 

It was such an obvious answer to me, why didn’t I think of it before.  Now when I hear her start to meow in the tone I know is her fighting tone, I go over and pick her up and cuddle her, open my heart, send her love and she settles down.  She has started to come and sit with me again on the couch.  She lies beside our new dog, Trinity, and wants to start a loving relationship with her.  Trinity is still a bit too playful but time will fix that. 

When animals act out it can be for various reasons.  For behavioural issues I tend to go through the following steps to determine what to do:

1. Rule out any physical or medical issues that could be causing it, including medical help if needed.
2. Talk to them to determine if it is emotional issue.  Ask them the following questions:
1. Why you are behaving this way?
2. How does this behaviour make you feel?
3. Is there something physical that is bothering you?
4. Is there something you need to help you?
5. What can I do for you?
3. If needed look into training programs to help you, such as Ceasar Millan’s programs for dogs, natural horsemanship for horses, etc.

My lesson in this situation was to open my heart and love.  I have learned the same lesson with my horses recently and I am trying to do the same in all aspects of my life with remarkable results.   I want to thank Topaz for another opportunity for a life lesson.  I am happy to report she has made tremendous progress as well. 

The Beatles had it right!  All you need is Love.